April 16, 2012: 11:11 pm: Mental Illness

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February 1, 2012: 3:38 am: Mental Illness

Hi!
So it’s been a few months since I’ve posted. I wasn’t sure if anyone was reading this, but I’ve gotten a couple comments, so I’m back!
I’ve recently started at a new college, so I’ve been dealing with a lot of changes. I now live with roommates which is……interesting. None of my roommates knows about the voices. I’ve been able to hide them pretty well, though they are still very much here. I’ve been seeing a new therapist and psych nurse who are trying to get me to change my medication. So far no luck. I tried seroquel xr because I am already on seroquel. Xr didn’t help and in fact made me completely unable to sleep, which lead to me almost going to the hospital.
Although I do love college, this whole roommate situation has made me feel like such a freak. First of, I hate parties and large groups in general. Too much happening at once! And to be honest, I much prefer my on little world and, to some extent, the voices. But it makes me feel crazy to want to be alone talking to myself while everyone else my age is getting drunk and going out. I often wonder what my roommates must think about me.
I also have a habit of getting paranoid everyone someone new enters the apartment, which happens all the time since all five of my roommates have friend over all the time, why wouldn’t they?
Anyway, that’s my update for now.

P.s If anyone is reading this feel free to ask me any questions you want. Give me blog ideas!
Also, if anyone is going through anything similar to what I’ve described in my blog, I would love to hear your story!

August 24, 2011: 12:59 am: Poetry

A  poem….

Nights are chaos. Stars start to whisper.
  Other worldly lights,
  it seems.
Sigh, turn over. Close your eyes.
The stars’ murmurs grow louder and louder,
until they are all that can be heard, they have a lot to say,
  it seems.

August 23, 2011: 11:28 pm: Mental Illness, Uncategorized

I want to go onto more detail regarding the voices.

First off, as I mentioned before, my voices come from inside my head. They are almost like incredibly loud thoughts, thoughts that are not my own, and that most of the time have nothing to do with what I am thinking about.  I’ll be thinking about what I have to to for the day (going shopping, doctors appointment, etc.) and all of the sudden I’ll hear the word “freak” going through my head in a voice that is distinctly different form my own. They are not always bad, sometimes they can be quite funny. (So funny that I’ll sometimes laugh to my self out loud in public : -\ ) When they ask me questions I sometimes make the mistake of answering them in public, which gets me the occastional odd look.

I am fully aware that these voices are not real, that they represent some part of me that has been disconnected from the rest. At times I wonder if they are some sort of spirit trying to communicate with me. This seems far fetched most of the time though. (I do have paranoia about spirits and other supernatural things, but that has little to do with the voices.)

The voices can make it hard for me to think a coherent thought at times. This makes me seem spacey and disorganized to others, which makes sense, since I am spacey and disorganized!

I am able to function pretty normally, I go to school, work, stuff like that.

I am currently on medication that has helped a little with  the voices. I am on Seroquel, which I take once in the morning and once at night.  The medication doesn’t make the voices go away, but does help make them a little less loud.  It also helps lessen the anxiety that the voices cause.

Thats really all I can think of right now!

August 22, 2011: 2:30 pm: Mental Illness

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